Choosing Purpose Over Penis

Updated: May 5, 2019



I've been celibate for the greater part of seven years and it's been mostly smooth sailing. But, if I may, I'd like to be honest: For some reason, the everyday, intentional choosing of my God-given purpose over the crashing and falling for someone else's penis is surprisingly hard to do.

It's a daily, hourly, minutely, secondly battle of dying to self, taking every thought captive to obey Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5), and crying out to God for help. God, please help me.

It's hard because the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak (Matthew 26:41). There are days where I'm certain that I'm going to follow Jesus and do exactly what He wants me to do. And then there are other days where I'm like, "Forget this. Bring on the penis."

So, what keeps me from falling on those days? Well, it’s remembering that I have a choice. I have a choice that amounts to life or death (Deuteronomy 30:19). I have the choice to walk by the Spirit so I won’t fulfill the lusts of the flesh (Galatians 5:16). If I make that choice, I stay on the path of life. I walk in the things God has called me to. I fulfill my purpose, grow in character and become all God wants me to be. That’s one option. But I also have the choice to walk by the flesh, give in to temptation and forge a new path. But the path that comes from that choice is death. It’s the death of intimacy with Christ, death of my purpose, my reputation and my character. That’s another option.

And while it all looks spelled out on paper, the right option doesn’t always feel that obvious in the moment, cause in the moment of temptation, I’m not that strong to make the right choice. I then must remember something else. I must remember that I need help making the choice of life. I must remind myself that the help and strength to make the right choice and overcome temptation doesn’t rest in me; it rests in Christ’s sufficiency.

I’m reminded that Christ’s strength is made perfect in my weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9), and that reminder gives me hope because there’s a greater power that helps me overcome my weak flesh. And knowing that my flesh is weak, the choice between staying on the path of life (purpose) or falling to temptation (penis) is usually the perfect moment to cry out to Him for His strength. And that’s my best option.

Lourdes Anita

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