You know why I'm sure?
Because that's exactly what my greatest temptation looks like: Light skinned with light brown freckles and the prettiest light shade of hazel eyes you ever did see. Exactly: the Devil.
So there I was living my best single Christian life: I was fighting temptations, saying no to stuff from my past (Um, hello, exes who try to follow people on Instagram!), feeling pretty good about where I was in my walk with God, and then BOOM; I'm hit with a light-skinned bomb.
I was driving to have brunch with my church sisters when I realized I had no idea where I was going. I pulled over to pull up the address and get my GPS set. As I went to pull back onto the road, who drives past me in his cute little car, but LSLED (Light Skinned, Light Eyed Devil for short) himself. Dang. Hoping that he would make the green light and just keep on driving, I continued driving. My hopes were dashed, though, when the light quickly zoomed past yellow straight to red and he stopped in front of me. Really, light? Double dang. Now hoping that he wouldn't notice me behind him (because how many people really look in their rear-view mirrors at people in the car behind them?!), I kept my head forward until he looked up and spotted me. Triple dang. We're at a full, "Oh, shoot," at this point.
Pause. Before I continue with this interaction, let me give you some context on LSLED: I’ve been in love with him my entire life. Like legitimately. We’ve known each other since we were four, he was one of my first and closest friends, and the crush game is serious over here. Despite our living in the same borough, his working around the corner from my house, and our having mutual friends, we lost contact for several years, and I was able to successfully evade him. Until this moment.
So he spots me.
Heart racing, I’m trying to figure out my next move. Do I make a U-turn and go the other way? Do I pretend I don’t recognize him? Lord, what do I do?
I drive around his car, which he refuses to move out of my way, and stop at his window.
Shoot. Shoot. Shoot.
We talked. We’re good. He’s around. We’re just cool peoples. It’s nothing.
But as I fight to ensure it stays nothing, here are a couple of things I’ve learned:
You Don’t “Got” This: Prior to this moment, I started getting cocky in my Christian walk. I felt like I had it together. I told myself, “Temptation can’t get to me. I’m not letting men get to me. Child, I’m strong; I got this.” No. No, you don’t got this. The Bible cautions not to think more highly of yourself (Romans 12: 3) for this very reason. I’ve learned how weak I actually am and now have a far more sober estimation of my own strength.
Accountability, Please: It’s harder to sin when people from your church community are all up in your business asking, “So where’s your heart with God,” all the time. It’s so important to let people in where you are struggling because they can see things you can’t, call you out and pray on your behalf. Also, since the enemy prowls around like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour (1 Peter 5:8), and lions prey on weak animals who are alone, I’m trying to stay close to the herd. Ya’ feel me?!
P.S. Mad love to light skinned people with light eyes.