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"Does Your Man Have to Go to Church?"

It happens every time I meet a man:

He's cute. I'm cute.

He's feeling me. I'm feeling him.

We exchange numbers, partake in light kee-kees (Urban for small talk/banter), and make plans to hang out.

We hang out; the conversation progresses from light kee-kees to deeper “I’m trying to learn more about your worldview to decide whether or not you’re crazy” dialogue.

Everything is flowing well. The conversation continues to vibe. Everything seems to check out. It all seems like a green light for “Go”. All up until.

Until that moment the conversation takes this inevitable turn:

"What are you doing this weekend?"

"Not much. Probably just going to church."

"Church? Oh, you’re a church girl, huh?"

"Yep, I’m a church girl."

"You go to church every weekend?"

"Most weekends, yeah."

"So…(there’s usually a dramatic pause before the big one comes), does your man have to go to church?"

And there it is, ladies and gentlemen, the question that ruins every single one of my dates every single time. It is the ultimate end all question. It is the one that draws a clear line in the sand that This. Isn’t. Going. To. Work.

Why isn’t it going to work? Because, fine sir, if you must ask that question, I know and you know, we already have different views on God, Jesus, the Bible, life, etc. And while I wish I could ignore that and continue to date your fine self without issue, I can’t. I can’t because of a couple of scriptures, that if I’m honest, I really wish weren’t in the Bible because of how they limit my dating pool, but they’re there nonetheless:

  1. 2 Corinthians 6:14 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?

2. Amos 3:3 Can two walk together unless they agree?

So while I know I could have had a man yesterday if I “opened my options” and considered men who kinda sorta know God but don’t feel like they need a “religious activity or a building” to have a relationship with God, my conviction from those scriptures gives me a clear red light for “Stop”.

So I guess back to dating I go. Let’s see how quickly that question comes up the next time.

Lourdes Anita

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